What makes you suffer?
Identifying what’s causing suffering in your life is the first step to finding a more joyful life, says Tony Robbins.
Suffering is living in any state that’s not beautiful. How often does your life feel like it’s in a state of beauty and grace?
Spiritual teacher Byron Katie says “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.”
Our minds are very good at constructing our reality. Our brains take thousands of sensory inputs every second and isolate the few that are relevant and important.
In a similar way, our minds take thousands of past experiences and use them as a lens through which to view our present.
As humans, we all have negative experiences that colour the way we view the world (and can cause immense suffering).
Someone who was abandoned by a parent as a child might carry a fear of being rejected into their adult relationships. Eventually that story becomes a major part of how they experience the world, and a simple, innocent act from a lover—like not ending a phone call with ‘I love you’—can take on much bigger meaning, causing them to think that their partner doesn’t love them, or worse.
Overcoming our suffering requires addressing our thoughts and beliefs.
“Peace doesn’t require two people,” says Byron Katie, “it requires only one. It has to be you. The problem begins and ends there.”
You can decide right now to let go of the stories you are telling that are causing you pain and start living a more joyful life.
Change your emotional habits. Emotions are a habit, and they can be changed. Start by learning Tony’s 6 steps to emotional mastery.
Shift your focus. As Tony says, where focus goes, energy flows. Change what you’re focussing on and your life will start to change. The next time something happens that upsets you, shift your focus from your circumstances to your decisions. What is in your power to change in this situation?
Take responsibility. Byron Katie says, “Taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgements gives you the power to change them.” We all view the world through the lens of our beliefs. Change those beliefs, and you change your story.
Let go of your expectations. When we have expectations for how we want our lives to be, we can feel let down, discouraged and disappointed if we don’t achieve our goals. Letting go of your expectations and accepting the reality of life as it is can help you find peace—and make a new blueprint for the future!
“Life is too short to be mired in suffering. Make the decision to master your mind. Choose a beautiful state, and start living the life you were meant to.”
1. Do what you love.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others.
3. Make a list of things that bring you joy.
4. Be around those who bring you happiness.
5. Adopt an attitude of gratitude.
6. Do things for others.
7. Always have something to look forward to.
8. Create experiences.
9. Know when to say no.
10. Take time for yourself.